- Did you know I was in love with you a year ago? He froze. He didn’t know what to say. In a blink of an eye, he felt uncomfortable, which was an odd feeling around her. She didn’t seem to notice his change of “mind-state” and just kept swirling her fingers around his neck chain.
- No, no... I didn’t know that... he said hesitatingly. She laughed a little without any sound. She left his chain and started to finger on his collar bones. He cleared his throat, tried to move around to feel less troubled and felt his cheeks getting warmer.

- I disguised it well then. I got head over heels every time we were together. Her hand stroke his chest and then moved it down to his abs. His breathing got strained and he took a hold of her wrist. She looked up and finally understood that he felt uncomfortable. In normal cases she would have given him a big grin, changed the subject and kept talking but this time she didn’t. She was quiet and they just gazed at one another. He felt strange heartbeats pounding in his chest. They were pumping too fast, too hard. She lifted her head from his torso, making her face become even closer then before.

- What are you doing? He asked with stumbling words. She looked at him like she hadn’t got a clue.

- Are we about to kiss? The words just slipped out of his mouth. She lightly shook her head.

- I have no idea, she answered quietly, are we? And then he was left speechless again. Did he want to kiss her? Some parts of him wanted to, some really didn’t. Mostly, he just felt insecure and confused. Like someone else had taken over his body, his fingers touched her cheek, he took his eyes off of hers and started to actually look at her face. He realised that she wouldn’t kiss him. If it would happen, it was on his initiative. Maybe they should? Just, so they had done it. Made sure, but no, no, they really shouldn’t. It would probably ruin their friendship. God, she was like a sister to him. Still, when they were lying there, on the floor, half naked and looking at each other, that feeling of her as a family member didn’t appear. He wet his lips, leaned slowly forward, pushed her chin up and yes, his lips met hers. They looked at each other a few seconds then he kissed her again but this time their lips met longer and not just once. They rolled over, she went lying on her back while he stooped with his upper body over her. He placed his hand over her hip and she put her hands around his chin. His mind were all over the place. What the actual fuck was going on?

A short knock on the door and his mother’s voice through it disturbed them.

- Hey,  guys, are you awake? If not, better get up now! They stared at each other, scared of the fact that his mother could walk in any second.

- No, no, we’re awake! He shouted and pressed his eyelids together, wishing with his whole heart she wouldn’t enter the room.

- Great, honey, I’ll be downstairs. Footsteps walking away and down the stairs. He breathed out and then fell down on his back next to her. They laid there for a couple of minutes, speaking no words, only staring to the ceiling.

- I just realized something, she finally said. He glanced at her.

- You did? Well, so did I. What did you realize? She remained quiet a few seconds more.

- I’m not in love with you anymore, she finally stated. They both sighed. She turned her head his way.

- What did you... realize? She whispered. He turned his head so their noses almost touched. He took a deep breath and turned to the ceiling once again.

- I really... I really am gay. And so they looked at each other again. As they had know one another for a long time, they just knew when the other one were about to laugh. This time was no exception and they could hold themselves exactly the same amount of time and then they just burst out laughing like two escaped maniacs. She hit him lightly in the head and he tickled her in her waist. She screamed and sat up. He followed and there they sat, giggling and smiling. She dragged him into a hug. It wasn’t awkward, not strained. They were just two friends hugging.

- Glad we made that very clear, she laughed and he shook with trapped laughter. He pushed her to the arm's length distance.

- Never again? He said smiling and she shook her head.

- Never again.

//zarah

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//Zarah

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